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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
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All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
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Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Barab疽i\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
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Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
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I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
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Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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